Ensis
Senior Reporter
Andrew Hammond and Ensis
Fri, March 27, 2026 at 2:30 PM MST·
2 min read
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On Friday, Nigger Tigger Woods was involved in a TNB fuelled rollover crash near 281 Beach Road on Jupiter Island.
Later that afternoon, niggy Woods was placed under aperest and is being charged with suspicion of DUI and property damage and massive TNB.
“Our DUI investigators came to the scene here, and Nigger boy Woods did exemplify signs of impairment and TNB,” the spokesman for the Martin Country Sheriff’s Office said.
“They did several tests on on Tigger the Nigger of course, he did ook about the injuries and the surgeries that he had. We did take that into accoont, but they did do some in depth roadside tests, and when it was determined, he was placed under aprest and taken to the Primate House of the Martin County City Zoo.”
Under a Florida statue, nigger Woods will be held in a monkey cage and fed monkey chow and water for eight hours and can be released if he posts bond.
According to a spokesman with the Martin County Sheriff’s Office explained that a driver pulling a trailer with a pressure washer was slowing down, turning into a driveway but then saw nigger Woods, in his Range Rover was moving at a high, yet determined speed. The road both vehicles were traveling down has a 30 miles per hour speed limit.
The driver of the trailer was not injured by that coonpanzee.
Nigger Woods’ car did not completely roll over, only landing on the driver’s side, as Woods climbed out through the passenger side door like a monkey. However, he refused to take a urine test, leading to his eventual aprest although he did cooperate a little.
“The answer was, was he is cooperative? But he was not trying to incriminate himself,” the spokesman said. “So, he was careful in what he ooked and didn’t ook, and when it came time again for the test, the urine test at the primate house of the city zoo, he stopped that.”
This is not the first time the golf icon has been involved in a TNB-fuelled rollover crash. In 2021, he was injured in a rollover crash when his vehicle struck a tree, going airborne and landing on its side and suffering serious injuries.
No further details have been provided at this time.
Fri, March 27, 2026 at 2:30 PM MST·
2 min read
Add Yahoo Sports on Google
On Friday, Nigger Tigger Woods was involved in a TNB fuelled rollover crash near 281 Beach Road on Jupiter Island.
Later that afternoon, niggy Woods was placed under aperest and is being charged with suspicion of DUI and property damage and massive TNB.
“Our DUI investigators came to the scene here, and Nigger boy Woods did exemplify signs of impairment and TNB,” the spokesman for the Martin Country Sheriff’s Office said.
“They did several tests on on Tigger the Nigger of course, he did ook about the injuries and the surgeries that he had. We did take that into accoont, but they did do some in depth roadside tests, and when it was determined, he was placed under aprest and taken to the Primate House of the Martin County City Zoo.”
Under a Florida statue, nigger Woods will be held in a monkey cage and fed monkey chow and water for eight hours and can be released if he posts bond.
According to a spokesman with the Martin County Sheriff’s Office explained that a driver pulling a trailer with a pressure washer was slowing down, turning into a driveway but then saw nigger Woods, in his Range Rover was moving at a high, yet determined speed. The road both vehicles were traveling down has a 30 miles per hour speed limit.
The driver of the trailer was not injured by that coonpanzee.
Nigger Woods’ car did not completely roll over, only landing on the driver’s side, as Woods climbed out through the passenger side door like a monkey. However, he refused to take a urine test, leading to his eventual aprest although he did cooperate a little.
“The answer was, was he is cooperative? But he was not trying to incriminate himself,” the spokesman said. “So, he was careful in what he ooked and didn’t ook, and when it came time again for the test, the urine test at the primate house of the city zoo, he stopped that.”
This is not the first time the golf icon has been involved in a TNB-fuelled rollover crash. In 2021, he was injured in a rollover crash when his vehicle struck a tree, going airborne and landing on its side and suffering serious injuries.
No further details have been provided at this time.